DEAD, jk.

Today, I am horribly sick and feel like crawling into a hole and dying. But.. in reality today was okay. I went in late to school because I had an appointment with the Dermatologist then got to leave early because the nurse said I have a fever. I only went to four periods and three of them were pretty much study halls. I came home and went to sleep and now I feel infinitely better. So, I guess I got off pretty easy.

Contemplating Life

Watching MTV's Awkward made me really want to have a blog (and do mostly everything like Jenna Hamilton). Also, I feel like I'm going through a lot of things that people can relate to right now. I recently got out of a long term relationship, which is just me putting it nicely. Really, I got dumped. It sucks to suddenly be alone after over two years of constant communication with someone who became your best friend, but in my mind everything happens for a reason. I believe that if he and I were truly meant to be, we will find our way back to each other, and if not then there's someone better out there just waiting to be discovered. He is kind of an asshole now anyway, which is sad, but whatever. It's fun to have a "crush" again anyway because that's something I missed. The mystery of it is actually kind of cool. Even though it's disappointing to not know there is someone thinking about you all the time and that they are there and care for you 24/7, it's nice to get butterflies in your stomach around someone, and wonder if they're feeling the same way. I'm also going through the process of applying to college right now, which is so terrifying. I still feel like I'm 14 years old and starting high school. It's incredibly strange to think that this time next year I'll be sleeping in a dorm and actually be a functioning member of society, but it's also awesome to know I'll be so independent. Being 17 is such a weird transitional stage in life and I really can't get over how different my life has become in such a short time. For right now though, I'm actually really happy. I always thought when my ex and I broke up that I'd be a mess for months and never be happy again, but I'm shockingly okay. I have the best friends in the world and I feel like I'm more myself than ever, and that I'm growing into a better, more mature person everyday.